Zechariah attitude

To say I am currently in a state of reflection, in an understatement. I do nothing but think, reflect; act, reflect; dream, reflect; sneeze; reflect. No I am kidding; however, I do constantly find myself reverting back to my past, comparing that to my present moment, and lining that up with what my future my hold.

This comes in a two-fold layer. One is the fact that I am a senior in college. I have no choice but to begin thinking about my life in the bigger picture scheme. Suddenly I am required to set my mind to things beyond Presbyterian College. What do I want to do with my life? Where do I want to live? Who do you want to be when you grow up? All the cliche poo-poo that comes with that last year of college. I am grateful for this season of my life though. It is a little fun to look at myself now, and think about where I have come in the past four years. Who I am today is WAY different than the person I was when I first entered college, and I could not be more glad for that fact. This season, a particular class I am taking, and others are requiring me to ponder in such manners, but there is also the second layer to this. A layer of ministry call that throws me full throttle into reflection, discernment, and now decision making.

God kind of worked on my heart the other day about my attitude towards this other layer though. While myself is pretty okie doke with the senior year of college part, I have a ways to go with this ministry call layer. My present fears I tie into the newness of all of this. I am still the "want to be prepared...I like goals..." self who likes that control. There is still that part of me that is petrified with the fact that this call I cannot control, I can only obey.

OBEY.

This word was placed on my heart and mind after lunch with a dear pastor/mentor the other week. As I spilled all my fears, worries, etc. to her, she stopped me. She in short said something along the way of: "Some days we simply obey." This took my train of thought and in relation my heart, down a different path. I saw a little less goal-oriented path and a bit more of simply a journey.

Well God did what God does and suddenly a pattern began to emerge. Journey. Obey. Trust. A conversation with a professor opened my mind to the fact that we are all on a journey, we never arrive, just simply travel down it. Which I think is a pretty accurate summary of ministry work, at least what I've been exposed to so far. I also was gifted with a book for my 22 birthday by the same mentor whom I had lunch with that used the word obey, entitled We Make the Road by Walking. I am only a chapter or so in, but it's already adding to this theme.

Then there was the big wammy the other day in my "Life of Jesus" class when we were studying the birth narrative. We as a class are discussing the dude named Zechariah. He is a priest in the Jewish faith, who literally is exposed day in and day out to the awesomeness of God, and what God can do. How God is capable of anything. Yet when he gets a hand delivered message from the big-wig angel of the Lord, he automatically doubts. For it he is silenced. Let me tell you, I was quick to pass judgement on this guy. You literally work the Lord, come on dude!

But my heart stopped me. Did I not recently see a reflection of this Zechariah attitude in myself? God was majorly opening doors for my ministry call. Not only in my relationships, but big things like expenses being covered for exciting conferences I get to travel to this November, leadership opportunities to live out this call now, and an AWESOME support network with mentors. However, I had not been recently experiencing much joy in this. I was dealing with worry, doubt, fears, and was this not exactly Zechariah's initial reaction? In may ways I am being called into my own priesthood within the Christian faith, and God has allowed me to witness the workings of the One in my life up until this point, now, and doors opening for the future. I would know, like I said I've been in a recent state of reflection.

Now my focus is changing my attitude a bit. I am working to have more the Mary or Elizabeth attitude to big news: trust and joy. It's not easy and I am having to work at it. Yet when I shift to a focus of being on a journey rather than attempting to arrive at one set destination, the lens of perspective change. The here and now matter as much as  the future. It's one long, never-ending journey. If that's ministry, I think my current present and future are looking very bright.

It's time to shy away from my Zechariah attitude. Perhaps I need to just be quiet for awhile as well, who knows what else I may hear when I'm talking less.

the need for community

We need authentic communities. No matter whether someone is an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert (a new vocabulary word I learned in my Feminist/Womanist Theologies/Pedagogues class today!) we need to be a part of something that is bigger than ourselves. A group that reminds us that we are not fighting this battle of life alone. 

For each individual, this looks a little different. Someone may be a part of a club they particularly enjoying being a part of or. Or an athlete may have a strong community in his/her sports team. However, what does this look like from a Christian perspective? My answer to that is in the example of my own faith community, Broad Street UMC. 

As I broke bread with my pastor today, I was reminded again of why we all need an authentic community to be a part of. I argue we all need this type of authentic faith community. During a conversation with her one time, she emphasized how our church was "home" for the PC students who decided to attend the church. 

How beautiful is that? A congregation that is willing to embrace the students as their own for the time they attend college. Beyond this, is the very concept of an embracing faith community. I have witnessed in the past going on four years now, that this faith community does this with all their members, no matter age or where they are from. 

We need to learn a lesson from this. We need to encourage our own churches, college small groups, and any other gathering of faithful brothers and sisters of Christ copy the concept of generating this attitude of unconditional love. 

Everyone needs to be reminded that its okay to not be okay, that they have a safe space to open up. Why not let this place be the church? Where else would we want to have the hurt of this world fixed? How does this look for you, your church (group), in what actions you can take? 

I stress the need for generating authentic FAITH communities. 

Those are my musings for this Wednesday from church mouse.