My five months I was a part of the MVP congregation are such a treasured time in my memory bank and within my heart. Truthfully, that time became a sabbatical of sorts for me that God used to pull me into the full realization of my ministry call. There is also lessons from that time that I know I'll continuously use within my ministry career, regardless of where I am called, so I will constantly be returning within my mind to that time.
Yet I find myself reflecting on this day how not all that much has changed since that day one year ago, and yet so very much has. It has come to be that I am only continuously embracing who I truly am and am called (always have been) to be. Here I am one year later....
Working to complete the first stage of candidacy for ministry within the UMC. I've been on many retreats, have been assigned my mentorship group that's walking through this with me, spent time in prayer - journaling - and so much more in discernment, filled out paperwork, and found myself digging spiritually deeper within myself that I ever through possible.
And it's such a beautiful thing.
Yet one year ago I was also finding myself digging spiritually deeper within myself than I thought was possible, but the spirit had just finally pushed me to do just that - dig deep. I began a process at MVP of theological reflection, study, and witness that turned on a lifelong commitment to ministry that will never subside.
Currently I have found myself embracing the full identity of what aspect of ministry I am truly called to. A path that has taken me in one direction, around a loop and landed in a spot of peacefully acceptance that God is opening my heart/spirit to seek to become an Elder in the UMC.
This has been one of the biggest "a-ha" moments since my time of retreats in November. However, what has taken place is allowing myself the space to slow down and discern with listening ears rather than a talking mouth. A truth of seeking to become an Elder is an aspect of this that has always been presence, I just lacked the ear to listen. I rushed out of a time of sabbatical at MVP and jumped right back into my habit of control, and wanting to define my own story. I'm learning to slow down more and truthfully discern, and now God is working to reveal this plan rather than me trying to reveal it. It's a wonder I did not recognize the lesson of slowing down prior when God placed yet another remarkable clergywoman running a powerful church in my life during the spiritual sabbatical that was my months in DC. If I had listened well, I would have seen how God was using Donna's example, just as God had been using Kitty's example for two years prior, to see positive examples of the Elder I was also being called to one day become.
Currently I am working to figure out what's next.
A fact I won't reveal more on until the time is right other than to say that God is continuing to push me to reflect on those same lessons as I'm discerning what will take place after I graduate from Presbyterian College in May.
In this past year I've done a lot of morphing from one direction of my dreams for my future into God's dreams for my future. I am always saying that this direction of ministry is one that has always been present, it was just my stubborn self that was not fully listening. However, I also continue to say that I'm grateful for my reluctance to fully listen because that took me to DC. In DC God took me to MVP and allowed me to spend time with a congregation that would change my life. An encounter that would help me to fully recognize this ministry call in many real, and powerful ways that I will use always. As I reflect on this "one year later" mark, I am forever thankful that life took me to DC to be a part of something amazing, and meet wonderful people in my community of faith. I would never go back and change the course of events that led me to DC because my time there and most especially my time at MVP I wouldn't trade for the world.
I miss you all at MVP, dearly. Keep doing God's work as the hand and feet of Christ in D.C. You all are always in my thoughts and prayers.
