I kept telling myself a lie leading up to the weeks prior to my moving to Atlanta. I was apprehensive all through summer that I wouldn't find people when I first came to the city, when I first began at Candler. It was most likely due to the fact that all was so unknown of what this community would look right. Judging what your classmates will look like in undergraduate is pretty easy - young, eighteen years old leaving home for the first time. A tangible reality to prepare for. My controlling personality was longing to know exactly what was ahead so I could begin to prepare accordingly. Yet, God was keeping the secret joy of my coming community at Candler at bay, and I was going insane. Therefore, I was stubborn and scoffed "I am not worried about it, because I'm not going to seminary to make friends. I am there to get my degree. I have my people here at home."
LIE. Well, sort of. I do have an incredible community at home of friends, family, and loved ones. The lie though was the idea that my soul didn't want any new friends. Deep down I knew it was vital for my success in seminary to have a community. In the past, that has always been the church. It has also been where I found many of those awesome people in my community of people. Church in seminary would look differently though. I would be working for the church, not a congregation member. I would be preparing to serve the church as a future clergy, not as a volunteer or congregation member. Those days had sailed. My understanding even then was my church would have to be those that understood my call, and could provide the church for me outside the walls of the typical brick and mortar church building.
God is sneaky, and I have found that ten minutes into my time here at Candler. My church I have found in a sweet group of peers that with each passing day here in Atlanta, we are growing closer. I met up with Lucas in the parking garage upon my arrival to Candler. I was in a frenzy because I couldn't find the right one, I was running late, and my anxiety was through the roof. We walked in together with my heart in my throat. On the second floor of the Rita Anne Rollins Building, there was a buzz. All the new students for Candler School of Theology were standing around eating, signing in, making small talk, and second/third year students and Candler staff were present as well mingling. It was very overwhelming.
Then - boom. I found my church. Lucas recognized a young woman who was from his conference. I recognized Kristen's husband from Exploration in Orlando last Nov. as one of the students working the Candler table. We struck up easy conversation. Along the way Michelle and Anne joined our group because they all knew each other from Leadership Candler. As we chatted, we realized we had a great deal in common. The biggest thing was that same fear I had - having no friends right away. Haley later joined in the group, too whenever we moved into the activities of the day.
Yet here we were - all freshly undergraduate graduates. Four of us Elder candidates in the United Methodist Church. All lovers of hiking. All fearing the unknown.
We stuck together all of orientation, and since our friendships are only growing. In the midst of chaos of new beginnings, we are finding support when tough decisions need to be made. Or whenever a tender moment of inner conflict needs to be shared because something at orientation taps into that tender portion of our soul. My Candler Squad has become my church. Already we are finding those that allow us to be who we are. Shoulders to cry on; ears to mull over life decisions together; ears for unpacking all the craziness that will be seminary life; and people to share in the joys of life with.
God is SO good. Marmee always tells me to remember - "God provides".
Well, woah. God provided big in my people. Already I am beyond grateful for their friendship. I am grateful for those old Christian roots we are returning to where the church was a house church of people coming together to live life and worship God. These people are my church. Somehow because of them, I know that all of this is going to be ok.
