Seminary has been trying as well. There are nights where the reading before me seems so daunting, I might as well be hiking a physical mountain for how exhausted I am by the end. Yet, those moments of understanding a new concept or connecting what I learn in the classroom to my work as a youth director I am realizing are making the struggles worth it. I will not lie to say that it is easy, far from it. The most accurate metaphor to voice my emotions during these weeks is that of a roller coaster; up, down, side, upside down, all around...tumultuous.
Yesterday, however, I had the most meaningful moment thus far of my Candler experience. God used a woman in the site I am working at Lee Arendale Correctional Facility to provide a moment of spiritual clarity of not only why God placed me at Candler, but a very much needed reminder of why I am called to ministry. While I will not delve into how because of privacy, I will simply say that this woman ministered as much to me, as I did to her (hopefully).
Here is why: our pastoral encounter as prison chaplain intern and parishioner was God tapping me on the shoulder saying, "Rebecca, remember, THIS is why I called you."
God called me to ministry to be a voice for the voiceless. God called me to love God's people through service. As a tested off the charts extrovert, I thrive within the community of people, no matter if they are friends or strangers. God intertwines this into my ministry call with my spiritual gift of relating to people, people of all ages, background, etc. Ironically, on this same day that God used one of my parishioners to remind me that I am called to be voice for the voiceless, I had a message from the woman who first inspired me in journalism pursuits of being that voice for the voice. God is funny. In conversation with Ann Curry yesterday, and the parishioner, I had conversation with God through the people.
That is how God has used my first month of seminary. God has spoken to me through the people. God is teaching me about my future career in ministry through the people - women at the prison, my friends, my work, etc. For the first time yesterday, I was reminded to be grateful for struggle. Once, Kitty preached about the verse of turning struggle into perseverance in faith...that is what God is doing. That is what I needed to be reminded of. Also, that at the end of the day I am not alone in this seminary journey. I'm surrounded by a community of love - whether they are physically here or those on the other end of that text/call a few hours away...or the One who has called me to this that is all around me, ever present. It is up to me to embrace that love and blaze ahead in this messy, but beautiful chapter of my odd and wondrous calling. I've picked up rock climbing in this new chapter. Now, I have never been one who is athletic or enjoys working out. Yet, I like the adrenaline and way one feels after. Due to my heart for hiking and the mountains (that connect so to my understanding of God), I wanted to try rock climbing. To say the least I love it. It allows me to focus on climbing, that has meaning for me metaphorically in the chaos of this new chapter with busyness of work, school, relationships, etc. It allows me to workout without wiping myself out. I smile when I am done or climbed super high to the top of the wall, looking down without being afraid. Rock climbing is an activity that I'm doing with my friends that allows me to enjoy their company outside the school environment.
