diversity yet so much commonality

The greatest thing about this city is the diversity.

There is a buzz of energy in the air.

It is thick with different languages, clothes and cultures; but all are sharing a commonality of laughter, love and life.

I find myself in the middle of this great place with great people surrounding me. And I am in love.

My mind is too full to not write tonight. I was sitting in my writing class earlier and yet I could not write then. I have found I do not have time to write during the day, to journal and keep up with memories. No, all that must be done at night because I am too busy during the day experiencing. When the city has settled in a busy hum because it is never completely quiet here. When my body is tired but my mind is still racing,  that is when I write.

What I am seeing, tasting, and feeling  is unlike anything I have in my life.

And it is so good.

For the first time in my life I am finding myself identifying who I am. I have grown up and even gone to school in a culture where I was among the majority. I was around people who were raised very similar to how I was raised and had experienced life in a very similar way to how I had.

Here that is not possible.

We all come from very different places and all have very different experiences. Not only those who are international students, but those of us who come from different regions of the United States.

However we find that same commonality of life, laughter, and love that I am witnessing all over this great city.

We may share different languages, values, experiences and cultures; but I have never bonded so quickly with a group of people. When I sit down with them in the pizza shop or on the quad between classes, I find myself relating to them better than most people I have interactive with during my educational years; both in high school and college so far.

Conversation is easy and laughter flows like a light breeze in the air. We share our life stories and where we come from. Identifying myself and the South where I grew up is a new experience for me. I have never had to explain where I come from before. I've always just regurgitated facts of the area around me, but never the culture. Because I was never so far removed from my culture.

But I do not feel that this place I am or the people I am meeting are all that different from where I come from. All are kind. All are caring. All are simply living life and figuring there role in this bigger picture.

And this is all I have taken in in only a week.

I still have fifteen to go.

Fifteen weeks to grow and change.

To experience and live.

To find out what I am beginning to see as the true me.

Who I want to be and what role I want to play in  this bigger picture.

I am defining who I am and where I stand in a more comfortable place than I have ever been before.

sorry not sorry

It has been quite a few months since I've written in my blog. Mostly because I've been so busy. This has been a whirlwind of a few months and I know that it is only going to get crazier in the upcoming ones; crazy in a good way that is.

As I sit here, I see myself at a crossroads. It kind of reminds me about when I went off to college for the first time. I was both anxious and excited. Afraid yet thrilled. And a whole pool of other emotions. I'm moving into a new school this time, except this school is a bit further away. The classes I will be taking will be a little different. I will be diving into a new stage of my college career. 

I'm at a crossroads. 

My freshmen and sophomore year of college were challenging years. The adjustment to post high school life and leaving home was hard for me that first year. I juggled personal obstacles along the way and had to learn how to read/write/study as a college kid verses a high school one. The growth was painful but also good. As I sit here now, I see how it has made me grow as a young adult. 

Most importantly, it taught me to not be sorry. 

For my entire life, I was the people-pleaser. I wanted everyone to like me and it just killed me if everyone did not. I cried easily and was constantly on edge. Not that I did not enjoy life or being with my friends, I did...I just always seemed to have a little extra baggage of worry attached. A baggage that was only there because I thought it needed to be. I was always the one to say "sorry". 

I would back down rather than push. I wouldn't stand up for myself a lot of times because I did not like confrontation. I would have this internal doubt that just sat there. After 20 years, I finally have recognized this self-doubt and have decided it has to go. 

This has been a process I've been going through since January. A process of actually moving past the recognition of my lack of self-confidence and working to overcome it. God has been by my side through the whole process and He helped me in ways I cannot put into words. His presence has been felt and I think so, no I know, that much of this would not have happened had He not been at work.

Recently, a Pantene commercial was released entitled "Sorry Not Sorry". It is a video that tells women to be strong and not back down. Stop saying sorry too much. This commercial wraps up all I've been muddling through. 

This is not to say that we should be egotistical. This is not saying that I should never admit when I am wrong or take responsibility for my actions. This is about me recognizing when it is called for to say "sorry", and when I can stand up for myself. This is about me turning off the internal voice that says "you are not good enough for this" and turning on God's voice of "this is My plan for you". 

It less two months now I'll be moving back into a new school. I've repeatedly talked about this on all my social media accounts, but it is because I'm still in awe that this is happening. I've seen now though, that God has been preparing me for this journey all along. He has worked within me as He plans to use me/grow me further in Washington, DC. I'll be out of my comfort zone. But finally this is thrilling me rather than terrifying me; like it would have done had this been happening this time last year.

Entering my junior year means I'm entering the last two years of college. A time when I'm preparing for the real world and building my skills for my future profession, rather than just adjusting to being in college. I think I'm actually ready now and I think that I will taught some of these "skills" for the real world/career world more in next 6 months than any other time. 

I'll be living in our nation's capital. I'll be participating in a program with about 15 other journalism students from around the world including Germany, South Korea, areas all over the United States; an intimate and hands on program. I'm preparing for a trip where I will meet in person my ultimate role model. A woman who inspired me enough that I'm where I am today. I'll be meeting some of the best in the news field. I'll be working at a newsroom and learning my craft from some of the best news reporters and anchors and producer in the field. I'll be attending a church that is larger than I've ever been in, in a city that is bigger than I've ever been in.

If I think too much about it, I feel overwhelmed. However, I've learned to take it one day at a time and one step at a time. Just like I will for all 116 days I'll be in Washington, DC. I know though that every day I will tell myself that I am enough. That I should not apologize to someone just because they don't agree with me or even if they don't like me. I'm enough for God and I'm enough for me. 

I'm me. 

A girl who loves being in a family of fellowship. Who drinks one too many cups of coffee. A girl who likes to watch Castle and Gilmore Girls in binge runs of two or more episodes. A girl who connects with those both near my age and older; all of which I consider friends. 

I'm finally learning to love that me. To embrace that me. To love that me. 

God's got this.

There is something I've come to realize in the past few months. It is a fact that I have known in the back of my head for years but never really stopped to fully realize and act upon.

During my church service today, Pastor Kitty read the scripture from John 4 and earlier Exodus 17.1-7 had also been read. Both of these scriptures related to water and God's providing of what both the Israelite needed and Jesus proclaiming the eternal life through him where none will thirst again (John 4 NIV). In her sermon, Kitty went on to talk about how God provided for all the needs of the Israelite from guidance (both by day with a cloud of smoke and at night with fire), with manna when they were hungry and even gave them water when they carped him about their thirst.

Each time God met their needs.

I have come to realize in my young adult life that the same can be said about believers today. God's unconditional grace and guiding hand was not limited to those of Biblical times. It did not cease to exist when the twenty-first century dawned. No, He is still providing for us all our needs, not matter how great or small.

As Jesus told his disciples, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be open to you" (Matthew 7:7 NIV). This is still applicable to us in the faith community today.

No, I am not saying that God is a genie who grants our every wish. I am referring to that deep connection between man and Creator that drives our very lives. The whispering Spirit that tells us, "This is my plan for you". 

Human beings were given free will and we have the ability to decisions, both good and bad. I do believe though that God has a divine plan for each and every one of us. A purpose that we were given to fulfill with our time here on earth.

This message was what was placed on my heart as Pastor Kitty spoke this morning and I reflected on how God has, does and will provide for me always. The biggest example of this currently is my impending trip to Washington. I know I've talked about it a lot, both in person with people and constantly on social media but it is the most exciting thing to happen in my life thus far.

When we are more cognizant and make a conscious effort to listen for God's guiding voice or see Him work in our lives through answered prayer (or not answered prayer in what we thought we needed) you see His divine plan.

The fact that I was accepted into this Washington Semester Program was the first amazing thing. Then came a chain of events where God provided for each and everyone of my needs with moving to DC. A chain of events I did not see until I took the time to stop and look.

The first came with the company I would have with me in Washington, DC. A sweet part of my life that provides me such joy every day. Then he answered a prayer deep in my heart to provide a faith community for me in DC. That has already been abundantly answered, not only in a building but already a community of brothers and sisters that I can foretell will support and uplift me. Especially I have found that in beginning conversation with Pastor Donna. I cannot quite explain it but I have continue to have this feeling deep in my heart that she and I will connect while I am in DC and that I will learn a lot as Christian from her example. Already I have found this in watching her post on Facebook, reading her blog and listening to her sermon online. Already I'm coming to love her sweet disposition and passion for God.

I want to make the most of my experience in Washington, DC. More than just the classes I will attend and internship I will complete in my broadcast journalism endeavor. I want to grow in my faith as well and serve the DC community through ministries in a church. It will be out of my comfort zone and a bigger community to serve that I have ever seen; but I think that's where we grow most in our faith.

I want to become and fulfill all God has in store for me both next semester, the rest of my college career and beyond into my future career. I see more clearly now that we have to open our eyes to see what God is doing. If we reflect back with a gracious heart, both the small and big moments will come to life. It's like a puzzle piece of our lives coming together with a plan greater than anything we've ever dreamed for our own lives.

Keep our eyes, heart, mind and spirit always open to see and feel God's guidance. The riches that will spill over that like water, will be more fulfilling than anything we've ever experienced.

thankful for a liberal arts education

It was not until I came to college that I realized that the word "education" has many facets. Prior to coming to college, I just generalized education in the academic sense.

"Take this many number of math classes."

"Take this many number of English classes."

"What electives can I get?"

Oh my goodness another PE class?

All my focus was on the classes themselves and what facts I was retaining, and soon after forgetting, from one year to another. This is not to say that I did not receive a quality education while I was in elementary, middle or high school; I just did not have an appreciation for what it meant for me to obtain my education.

As I continue down my journey of college and head towards graduation and a career in the newsroom, I often pause around me. It is during these pauses that I see the multiple fabrics that make up the blanket of a true education.

I call this the liberal arts effect.

Attending a college where I take a variety of classes that do not necessarily fall into the realm of my major, has expanded my viewpoint on myself, my community and the world itself.

I have become a critical thinker. Attending classes that were more challenging for me or gave me perspectives in subjects I had never be exposed too, helped me in my education as an adult.

It is here that I saw the purpose of college. Not just educating my mind for academic performance in readings, papers or test. It was about educating myself in professional skills such as leadership, handling stressful situations or trusting my abilities as I complete projects or tasks.

A liberal arts education I have found is making me a well-rounded adult. I am learning in the academic sense but also am being educated in the social, professional, personal and many other areas that will help me be a productive worker when I toss my cap and enter the labor force.

I have come to appreciate my education I am obtaining in the collegiate world. I am learning to look deeper at every aspect of life and what makes things happen the way they do.

The better aspect is that I am learning how I can be a better me to give back to my community what I am retaining in all factors of my liberal arts education. 

i'm so thankful for my church family

During my Bible Study, we've been discussing significant faith moments in our lives. We've been discussing our relationship with God and things that add to this life as Christians. Everyone shared many moments along their journey but one of my most significant ones or better yet one of the most significant places is currently still happening for myself. It is a constant [not just a place but community] in my weekly life that sustains me in ways I cannot put into words. 

I have to blog for a moment to send my expression of gratitude to my church family at Broad Street United Methodist Church. Recently I've come to the realization how dear this family is to me and how they've changed my life. 

Knowing that in a few months I will temporarily leave their comforting support is perhaps what makes each moment with them that much sweeter but sadder.
To be honest I had no intentions in placing roots in a church family while I was in college. I did not think that any place could compare to my home church that was so dear to me. I was basically on protest of not going anywhere local. I traveled to a church where an old minister of mine was preaching for the first few weeks of my freshmen year.
With time the drive became too much and I knew I needed to at least try to the local Methodist church. They  were kind when I had met a few of the members during my orientation days. It couldn't hurt I thought.
It was what I consider one of the best decisions I have made in college...attending church  that Sunday morning. Instantly I felt welcomed and like I was walking into a loving place.
Little did I know how they soon would be my family. 

Long story short, I was joining the church within three weeks of my initial visit. 

Sunday I joined. 

Since that smart choice I have found a family away from my family and home away from home. I cannot express how dear my church family is to me. I honestly am shocked at times by the blessing they have come to be. Not only have they welcomed me in and made me one of theirs; but they helped me through difficult times during my freshmen year.

In the pastor I found a motherly figure whose wisdom has guided me on more than one occasion. It's the sweetest feeling knowing I can run to her whenever I need advice and her unconditional love will be there. She is a rock for me in my spiritual journey and I thank God for "Preacher Lady" in my life. 

In many special individual I found surrogate grandparents and "godparents" who offer a listening ear every week about what is happening on campus. 

In the building I found a sanctuary, no pun intended. It is where I can go to feel safe. It is where I can go to feel like myself, be not only accepted but LOVED. It is a place where the very mission of Christ is being lived out.

It is my place. 

Thank you for that my BSUMC peeps. 

116 Days in Washington

Drum roll please...

This week began my Washington adventure! 

As per-usual, I have decided that I want to use my love of writing and blogging to share my experience on this biggest journey of my life. 

I counted that I will be in Washington DC for 116 days. 116 days of life that will be full of new adventures and meeting new people. I had a meeting this week with a representative from the Washington Semester program that gave me more details of what my life will be like on a daily basis in America's capital. 

Aka it will be AMAZING! 

I want to share this amazing day to day life with my readers, family and friends. I want to express everything I go through with you all. This will be the biggest change and challenge I have yet to go through in my life. 

Look out readers for my:

 116 days in Washington DC.

reaching my dreams with support.

There is one common goal all women, all humans have-dreams they wish to accomplish. These dreams vary between each individual. All dreams are precious pieces of a person's soul and adds to who they are. We all fight to see these dreams come to life. It is never an easy journey but don't they say the most wonderful things we achieve are through a bit of sweat and tears?

As I've shared before, I have dreams I am also pursuing. This past week I came one step closer to realizing all of them. I received an acceptance email to American University's Semester in Washington Program. In the Fall of 2014 I will pack up my bags and move from the only state I have ever lived in.  

I have mixed emotions about this upcoming change and challenge. I'm elated to see a dream I've been working towards for practically four years come true. It also puts me one step closer to my future career goals. I am nervous though about stepping outside of my comfort zone. 

The support from my family and friends however has been overwhelming. As soon as I made the announcement via social media, I've received many texts, comments and messages sending congratulations and encouragement. 

This has been especially true from my circle of women mentors. Their support, advice and caring love warms my heart. It is this that I will carry in my heart as I prepare and later depart for my DC adventure. I plan to document my journey here on my blog. Especially all the incredible women I'll encounter. 

I want to take my personal example to speak to a lesson for a moment, too. The support I have experienced is something that should be duplicated by all women. Every inspiring young woman has at least one or more mentors in their supportive "women circle". They need their encouragement because it is a tough world we are working in. 

I'm thankful for my supportive "women circle". 

If you're a career woman, add a young mentee to your circle. Your encouragement may be one of the biggest boost in her journey that she has.